Guy’s safety message
by PugLuva
Summary: Iruka asked Guy to give a spring break safety Presentation. Two words. Good. Lord. Chapter 2 up Final . Iruka Askes Kakashi to do a safety message. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke do it, instead. Pure humor, crackfic. I own nothing but my ideas. R&R people!
1. Guy's safety message

**A/N: Hey everyone! I got this idea, and I just had to do it, my own stupidity astounds me sometimes. Lol. This is a knock off of the brother chaps crack stuntman video. www (dot) homestarrunner (dot) com/2manyknives (dot) html , just copy and paste, and replace the (dot)s with periods.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or homestarrunner, just a crazy-weird imagination! ( 9.50 at target! They're half price, get em while you can!)**

Iruka looked at the kids, and said, "We have a visitor today, to talk about spring break safety." And he opened the door. Baaad Idea Iruka, very, very, bad.

Guy bounded into the room, followed by Tenten, Lee and Neji. The latter three were carrying equipment, and Tenten asked,

"Guy sensei what are we-" but Guy cut her off, signaling for her to help set up. They gave guy a microphone, looking very confused. "Maito Guy here with an important message about spring break!" Yelled Guy energetically, The academy kids looked at him like he was an idiot. Tenten reluctantly pressed play on the speakers, and a beat began to pulse around the room, guy began to sing,

_"Well you're a rich kid, living in the suburbs,_

_And there's not a whole lot to do._

_You stroll into the kitchen and what do you find?_

_A bunch of knives cold staring at you. So,_

_Kids, don't play with too many knives._

_C'mon, c'mon._

_Guy Sensei is gonna save some lives._

_Awwwwwww..."_

The academy kids were staring at him, just gaping, at his stupidity. Tenten was blushing crimson, mortified, Iruka was quietly banging his head on his desk, and Neji was twitching.

And Lee, you ask? He was up there, dancing and singing along with Guy,

_"It's spring break,_

_Girlies running wild,_

_Jet to the beach wearin' the freshest styles,_

_Meet a bunch of kids from the sand village!_

_Beach volleyball slammajamma!_

_Putt-putt, go carts, bungee-jumpin'!_

_Guy sensei keeps the bass bumpin'!_

He and Lee were somehow wearing heavy gold necklaces, baseball hats, and dark sunglasses, doing a sucky hiphop dance,

_" Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh_

_Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh._

_Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh,_

_Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh._

_Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh,  
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh._

_Poo-poo-ha-ha-ha-ha-huh-ha-huh._

_Holler for a dollar!_

_Shout for some clout!_

_Somebody say holler for a dollar!_

_Let's turn this party out!_

_Bonfire on the beach and people start to dance,_

_Find a fly girlie for some beach romance._

_But then a fresh honey comes walkin' by,_

_How can a man choose between fresh and fly?_

_And believe me, there IS a difference!_

_Throw your hands in the air for some high-fives, and—_

_—kids, don't play wit' too many knives._

And I am out!" they finish, in a gangsta' pose. Neji is in the fetal position, and Tenten is rocking back and forth, cradling her head, eyes, and ears. Iruka managed to break his desk, and took up Neji's job of twitching. The kids were staring, and then erupted into laughter,

"Ahh, the youth of laughter! Come my youthful aprentess! We must go!" and they ran off into the fake sunset, guy managing to scream, "My eternal rival Kakashi shall never give a better spring break safety lesson!" before he ran into it, knocking himself out, Lee following suit.

**A/N: Well, what'd'ya think? Good? Bad? Sucky? Awesome? Tell me in a review! Flamers will be thanked, cussed at, and badmouthed to everyone I know. Thanks for reading!**

**-PugLuva**


	2. Kakashi's safety message

A/n: Thanks to all who reviewed! This chapter is dedicated to Sonar, who gave me the brilliant idea! Thank you Sonar!! Thank you's also go out to: Who were the Precursors, Ayase Reincarnated, and HIxYOUxARExREADINGxTHIS!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the inspiration for this marvelous Idea! That go's to Sonar! Thanks again!! 

It was the day following Guy's presentation, and Iruka and Kakashi were talking,

"Please Kakashi? The kids didn't get anything out of that horrid song and dance!" Iruka asked mournfully.

"Well, Ok, but It might not be the best." And he poofed away, while Iruka was down on his knees thanking God.

-Next day at the academy-

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were lugging heavy boxes in. They were early, and they waited for Kakashi, Iruka, and the kids.

"So what's Kakashi planning to do with all this junk?" Asked Sakura aloud, rummaging through the boxes, "Lighter fluid, Matches, Hammers, Nails, frying pans, Bug spray, Kitchen knives, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomatoes, -wait what? How is a BLT dangerous?" She asked holding said sandwich up, from the hazardous items.

Sasuke sighed, "That's my lunch."

"Oh." Sakura blushed "Eh, heheh, my bad…" She trailed off looking around at the kids who had just arrived.

"Well looks like we'll have to do this without Kakashi-sensei." She muttered, and began to set things up.

"Ok, kids! This is what to do, and what not to do!" She announced, pointing at Naruto who was examining the Bug spray.

"Oooh, whats this button do?" He asked, and pushed it. Bug spray squirted into his eyes. Wait for it, wait for iiit….

"AAAAAAUGHHHHH! IT BUUUUUUURNS! HELP, HELP, HEEEEEEELP!!" he ran around the classroom screaming, and rubbing his eyes. Sakura grabbed him by the hair and shoved his head in a bucket of water.

"Ahh, thanks Sakura-Chan…" He said rubbing his eyes.

"Hnn, Dobe." Sasuke insulted. Naruto had anime steam coming out of his ears, and over the next few minutes, Sasuke and Naruto demonstrated pretty much, 'What never to do.'. This includes, Setting 

Sasuke's hair on fire, Throwing knives at Naruto, slipping on oil, setting said oil on fire, and Sakura punching them both into the wall.

"Well," she panted, "That's pretty much what not to do." She looked over at Naruto, who's pants were on fire. Him being a baka, didn't notice it, "Naruto, you're on fire!" she yelped,

"Why, thank you Sakura-chan, I always knew I was better than Teme." He said cockily, smoothing down his hair.

"No, you're literally on fire!" she shrieked, pointing at his pants. He looked down, and started yelling again, "Sakura-Chan help me!" she grabbed the bucket of water and threw it on him, except he moved, and it landed on Sasuke.

One of the kids yelled, "Stop, drop and roll!" Naruto did so, and knocked over Sakura and Sasuke, and they landed in what was left of the oil. Thankfully Naruto put out the fire, so there they were. Sitting in a puddle of oil, sopping wet, and smoldering.

Sakura managed to stand up, and slipped, and slid her way over to Iruka who was just standing there, horrified.

"Forget trying to teach them, They could teach us!" She said, and continued her way out the door, dragging a sopping wet Sasuke, and a smoldering Naruto behind her. Then Kakashi poofed in.

"Sorry I'm late what did I miss?" He asked, a petrified Iruka, who was staring at the remains of his classroom. Kakashi surveyed it, and commented, "So It went well I take it?"

A/N: Wow, It seemed a lot better in my head. Oh well, Its funny, R&R people!


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